Kita Eingewöhnung explained: settling into a German Kita

What the Eingewöhnung is for

The goal is simple: your child builds a trusting relationship with at least one educator before you leave them for a full day. Young children use a familiar adult as a "secure base". Once an educator becomes that base, your child can play, explore and cope with the inevitable bumps without you in the room.

That is why German Kitas take it seriously, and why most will not let you skip it, even if your child seems confident. For many international parents this comes as a surprise: in some countries, children start daycare on day one with a quick goodbye.

The two models you will hear about

The Berlin model (Berliner Eingewöhnungsmodell)

The most widespread approach. It focuses on the bond between your child and one key educator (Bezugserzieherin).

• First days: you stay in the room with your child for an hour or two. You are present but passive: a "safe harbour", not a playmate.
• First separation, usually around day four: you say goodbye and leave for a short time, often about 30 minutes. How your child reacts helps the educator judge how long the rest will take.
• Stabilisation: the time apart grows gradually, then lunch and nap are added.
• Typical length: one to three weeks, sometimes longer for younger children.

The Munich model (Münchener Eingewöhnungsmodell)

Used by many Kitas in and around Munich. It places more weight on your child getting to know the whole group, the rooms and the daily routine, not just one educator. Parents usually take part in Kita life more actively in the first week or two, and separations start later.

• A preparation phase with a parent meeting before the start
• A getting-to-know phase where you join in the daily routine with your child
• Gradual separations once your child feels secure in the group
• A review conversation with the educators at the end

Settling in this way often takes four weeks or more. Some Kitas also settle a few children at once in small groups. Ask your Kita which approach it uses; the answer tells you how much time to block in your calendar.

How to prepare your child

• Talk about it early and simply. "Soon you will go to Kita. There are toys, other children and a teacher called Anna." Picture books about starting daycare help, in any language.
• Visit beforehand if you can. Walk past, look at the garden, point out the door you will use.
• Pack a comfort object. A cuddly toy or a T-shirt that smells of home is welcome in almost every Kita.
• Keep the rest of life predictable. Avoid starting Kita in the same week as moving house or a long trip, if you possibly can.
• Teach two or three German words. "Hallo", "Tschüss", "Toilette", "Mama/Papa kommt gleich". They give your child a little sense of control.

How to prepare yourself

Block your calendar generously. If your Kita estimates three weeks, plan for four, and do not start a new job in the same weeks if you can avoid it. Your own calm matters: children read the adults around them. A short, warm, confident goodbye works better than lingering or sneaking out. Always say goodbye, even if it causes tears; disappearing without warning can make the next separation harder.

What is normal, and when to talk to the Kita

Crying at drop-off, being extra clingy at home, sleeping worse, or "forgetting" skills such as using the toilet are all common in the first weeks. So is a "second wave": a child who seemed fine in week one may protest in week three, when the novelty wears off.

Talk to the educators if your child still cannot be comforted by anyone after several weeks, stops eating or drinking at Kita, or seems withdrawn at home for a long time. If you are worried about your child's health or development, speak to your paediatrician.

Useful German words

Eingewöhnung

settling-in period

Bezugserzieher/in

key educator for your child

Bringzeit / Abholzeit

drop-off time / pick-up time

Elterngespräch

parent–educator meeting

Wechselkleidung

spare clothes (always needed!)

Hausschuhe

indoor slippers, usually required